If you're interested in how the Japanese record industry works then you could do a lot worse than check out Fuji Rock's "Rookie A Go-Go" at the Palace Of Wonder. We shambled on over there on the Sunday night after the bizarre horror/humour of watching a Morrissey tribute band headlining the main stage (I'm still having trouble believing it. Did I dream that?) First up here, none of these bands are really rookies. They're all the kinds of bands that you see playing places like The Loft or Shelter, most of them have record deals and several of them are here promoting albums. This isn't necessarily a problem in itself, but it's worth pointing out because it tells us that these bands have already been through the delicate channeling process that the music industry in Japan has. This is what the Japanese music industry thinks you want to hear. Yeah, you like that don't you? There's a good consumer.

First up we have the weird punk band with girls in it. Soapland Momiyama are undoubtedly the best band of the night. Not so much rock music as a softcore pornographic children's TV show with occasional bursts of screeching punk noise, they go all out for entertainment, from their opening karaoke run through of Utada Hikaru's "Traveling" which climaxes in the bass player stripping off her shiny nurse's uniform, to the hilarious audience participation segments which culminate in the drummer throwing sweets at the audience. They even have their own dance.

Next we have the crap, emotional rock band. Holstein have no redeeming features whatsoever and should be shot on sight. The fact that they seem to be named after a type of cow is the only point of interest I could find amid their turgid swamp of tuneless grime-rock.

Anyone here likes enthusiastic garage bands with no tunes but a charismatic singer? Well here's Sapporo's The Homesicks, supporting their new album "No Titled". They have a uniform, they rock out, they get a lot of laughs out of the crowd, they're playing at Shelter next month. They're pretty good at what they do but they have no real understanding of the music they make and fail to engage on anything beyond a superficial level.

Empty Black Box are the ska band. They have a couple of girl trombonists and saxophonists, they wear black suits and hats, they're professional and efficient, they get people dancing, and like all ska bands, everything they do sounds the same. There are a million bands like this because bands like this aren't interested in making music. They're interested in being on stage, enjoying themselves, and playing at being some other band that they saw some time before. I'd like to say there's nothing wring with this but there is something horribly wrong with this and it needs to stop.

Finally, and subject to much the same criticisms are Hige, who are the indie-band-who-rip-off-western-music. This song sounds like Supergrass, this one sounds like The Charlatans, this song sounds like The Strokes. Perhaps I'm just tired at four in the morning but what's the fucking point? -Ian Martin, Aug.12.04.